


Bernie do be diving, he got no destination doe

by orphan_account



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:14:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24959731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Relationships: Bernie Sanders/Colonel Sanders
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Bernie do be diving, he got no destination doe

Bernie Sanders woke up one fine morning, salivating from his juicy lips. 

"I crave KFC!" he proclaimed, with a handsomely devilish grin. The universe nodded in agreement.

While Bernie unlocked his car and started his engine, his tummy rumbled! 

"Uh oh, I've gotta go FAST!" He squealed in delight.

Gripping his steering wheel, he slammed his foot on the gas and immediately became a traffic hazard. Pulling into KFC, he cussed to himself as his tummy grumbled yet again. 

When he got up to the mic, the automated message replayed. He could recite it by heart.

"Baked Beans in tomato sauce. Beanz Meanz Heinz. We could tell you that our Beanz are hard to beat. That they're brimming with deliciously rich, tomatoey flavour. But you already know that. Because you know what Beanz Meanz...Heinz baked beans don't just taste great, but are nutritious too"

He was drooling buckets.

"Colonel, I need you to stuff me with as much chicken as you can pack into a bucket."

The colonel agreed solemnly. Bernie pulled forward, smirking at himself.

"Boy, I've really outdone myself this time. There's no way he won't know that I'm flirting!" He chuckled to himself.

He pulled up to the window.

"I am once again asking for your cock and also balls support." Bernie choked out, but you could tell he was humiliated with himself. 

"Bernie you fucking dolt," Colonel started, "I want you assassinated."

Bernie was heartbroken. His Senpai had rejected him!!! He did not get that crispy, finger-licking good schmeat. This truly was a tragic day. Bernie drove off a cliff.

In Loving Memory  
Bernie Sanders  
1776-2018


End file.
